Gedling Town 2 GNE 1

To many, the daily attempt to solve a crossword puzzle brings great joy (or frustration). In effect, it is a battle of wits between the crossword compiler and the crossword solver. The objective of the compiler is to provide enough of a challenge to make the crossword interesting but not impossible. For the solver, the joy in winning the battle of wits is tempered by the fact that the exercise will have to be gone through again the following morning. Failure to complete a crossword is satisfying to neither the solver nor the compiler in as much as each of them have failed in their objective. Complicating the issue in many respects is that in the cryptic crossword in the daily broadsheet newspapers, the crossword compiler changes depending upon the day of the week. Thus, the solver may have a perfectly good relationship with Monday’s compiler but can hate Friday’s compiler with a vengeance – this is not healthy for either side. It may be the case that this is the reason why crossword compilers have often hidden under an alias, for example Ximenes in the Observer many years ago, in order to prevent any real recriminations against the individual compilers.
Types of clues in cryptic crosswords are many but generally conform to one of a number of “styles”. We see, for example, double definitions, hidden words, reversals and, of course, the ever popular anagram.
Many people are instantly put off by the word “cryptic” when associated with a crossword puzzle. These individuals may well be missing something as a little time getting to understand the different types of clues can give years of pleasure (or frustration) on a daily basis – we could ask what other activity might fit this description but that could be for another day – or not at all!
So now, without the aid of one of those pocket sized electronic “crossword solver” devices (which should be banned instantly) let’s have a go at this one.

Incomplete male horse from Gedling (7).

Well, that’s not too tricky is it? Encouraged to continue? If so, your ageing scribe can recommend Monday in the Daily Telegraph but be very wary of Thursday – god I hate that man (or woman)!!

Today starts on the shared coach with players and management to Gedling Town in Nottinghamshire. There is some debate on board about the best way to go but never mind, we have a driver, let’s leave it to him. It is his job after all. A drive through glorious countryside, after the inevitable crawl up High St. West, awaits. There are a number of ways to pass the 2 hours of travel involved here such as engaging neighbours in general conversation and banter or by attempting a cryptic crossword. Yes, you’ve guessed it, I’m the one sat in the corner, head down over a carefully folded back page of the Daily Telegraph “locking horns” with the Saturday compiler. Billy no mates again and here I refer to myself rather than the Saturday crossword compiler who is, probably, quite a reasonable individual. Yes, you’ve guessed it again; I can usually finish the Saturday crossword! But not today!

After the better part of two hours, and a diversion due to a closed road, we arrive at the ground of Carlton Town FC. Strange perhaps as we all thought that we were due to play Gedling Town and, indeed, this is the case. A swift request for directions puts us on the right road and we soon arrive at the Ferry Boat pub. First observation is that two of the GNE travelling army (advance party) are seen looking suitably nautical on the bridge of a boat moored by the side of the bank of the adjacent River Trent. Wondering if there has been some sort of “coup” due to a potentially fatal misreading of the word “cup” in the top secret orders given to the advance party, we are reassured by smiling faces and a sea of blue and white occupying the outside drinking area of the pub. We disembark (note to self: try not to overdue the nautical references) from the coach and discover that the Ferry Boat has no real ale – disappointing and a missed opportunity. Attention is drawn to a prominent sign which reads “2 for £10”. OK so far as it goes but the more inquisitive of my dear readers may well ask “2 what?”. It seems that the answer to that question is two meals but from a limited choice of the extensive menu.

Having wasted valuable minutes debating what to drink in this real ale desert – Newky Brown or Guinness for the non-lager/cider drinkers although this plan is thwarted somewhat as the Guinness is “off”, consumed by the advance party so we are led to understand - we eventually get to look at the surroundings. On this gloriously sunny (and quite warm for the time of year) Saturday afternoon, it is close to idyllic. A pub with an extensive outside drinking area (but no real ale) set alongside the River Trent in quiet open countryside. The birds twitter, although several of the travelling supporters can, apparently, twitter but your ageing scribe suspects that this is not the same thing, the swans (at least 22 of them so a twitcher reports – does a twitcher twitter or is that not quite the same thing?) glide, apparently effortlessly, along the river and ducks (mallards) seek refuge in the shallow bits.

Time moves on and, not quite suitably refreshed, we move to the ground which is conveniently situated behind the pub - or so we thought. We can see the ground but the entrance is on another side. £4 gets you in and £1 buys a pretty decent programme called “The Ferryman Review”. A tidy ground with good seated and covered accommodation and a good looking pitch. The GNE travelling army numbers around 60 today from a crowd given later as 87. The flags are unfurled and attached to the pitch perimeter at the tea hut end. A swift count shows that we have 10 flags today – something of a record we suspect. In search of refreshments we head to the aforementioned tea hut only to find that the supply of pasties (no pies apparently) has already run out. Must be some sort of record to run out of food before the kick-off and, really, not one to be proud of. We are advised that hot dogs and burgers will come later – umm!

The match kicks-off with GNE in white and after 45 minutes it’s half time, 0-0. The flags are removed and taken to the bottom end of the ground in readiness for the second half. Despite taking a 1-0 lead with something like 15 minutes to go, GNE contrive to lose a match we should have won. So, Gedling Town look forward to the draw for the next round of the FA Vase on Monday and we prepare to travel home.

Back to the Ferry Boat and, after a suitable interval, the players return from the changing rooms. The Gedling players are, of course, elated and look very smart – all wearing white shirts and club ties. Conversations start between the Gedling Town management and a number of our supporters. Good decent footballing people are these running a smart outfit on an absolute shoestring. Good luck to them for the rest of the competition.

The journey home is dominated by opinions about why Sarah, 27, from Bingham should feel it necessary to partially reveal her assets in a free local sports paper which was picked up from the Ferry Boat by one of our supporters – just to understand better the football scene in Nottinghamshire of course. We reach no real conclusion on this one as the £30 “prize” for sending in such photos does not seem to be that attractive – unlike Sarah, 27, from Bingham perhaps!

So, the conclusion from the day is:-

501 joins up with a computer based management system and a definition of an unambiguous remark to express the human response to an unfulfilled expectation. (12).