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Wednesday 9 September 2009

Maine Rd 2 GNE 1

This week we mourn the death of Keith Waterhouse. A man who could be said to have invented a new meaning of the word “lunch” and was very well qualified for the epithet “a legend in his own lunchtime”. But what on earth (or in heaven or hell) does this sad passing have to do with football? Bear with me dear reader, bear with me.

In his middle to latter years, Mr. Waterhouse was well known for his columns in the Daily Mirror and, later, the Daily Mail where his political views were so far left of centre that had he played for the mighty GNE he would have been alone in Wickes’ car park when playing towards the KFC End.
Before this, Mr. Waterhouse came to the attention of the general public through such books as Billy Liar (1959). This book was one of many around that time which focussed on the “it’s grim up north” metaphor for life in the predominantly working class north of England. Similar books include “Room at the Top” – John Braine (1957); “Taste of Honey” – Sheila Delaney (1958); “Kind of Loving” – Stan Barstow (1960) and probably the daddy of them all “Look Back in Anger” – John Osborne (1956).
(Recommended reading – “There is a Happy Land” – Keith Waterhouse (1957) – which when purchased from amazon.com via easyfundraising.org brings a valuable financial contribution to the GNE Supporters Club and to GNE in general.
The relevance of all of this to football is that in many such books of the time football was used as an escape from the daily grind of repetitive factory jobs. And, to a large extent, this idea is perpetuated to this day in the title of the football magazine “When Saturday Comes”. Almost certainly, the crowds at football matches in the early post war years were the highest on record if we consider football at all levels.
Yet further evidence of the relevance of football to the culture of the 1950s comes in the form of the painting “Going to the Match” – L.S. Lowry (1953). Readers may recall that the Professional Footballers Association paid close to £2 million for this painting in 1999. It is, perhaps, relevant to note that “Going to the Match” features Burnden Park – Bolton but L.S. Lowry was a Manchester City supporter. Also of note is that what is now Maine Road FC was formed in 1955 by Manchester City Supporters.
But enough of life in the mid to late 50s as, by wallowing in nostalgia, there is a danger again of the vision of your ageing scribe being adversely affected by the light steaming up of rose-tinted glasses. Onward to Brantingham Road.

Close to the ground we find a suitable hostelry for liquid sustenance – organic real ales. Interesting, although a brew by the name of “Dobber” fails to impress. Good move this as we find out later that its cans only in the ground – remember Formby?

£1.50 for what could be described as a slightly confused programme – lots of information but not well laid out and somewhat repetitive – no worries here Neil. £5 entrance to the ground which is set in leafy Chorlton-cum-Hardy. Floodlights are already on. They are good but struggle to penetrate the persistent heavy rain sweeping in from the South West – a sign of things to come!

The Maine Road team are announced over the public address system and the name of Martin Parker is met with complete indifference by the 40 or so travelling GNE supporters – official crowd given as 125. We assemble in what appears to be an upmarket version of the Surrey Street scratting shed and unfurl the flags. This scratting shed then fails to maintain the early promise as a large drop of water leaks from between two corrugated metal roof panels and nearly extinguishes the cigarette of your ageing scribe. For the first time this season there are no signs of any Wembley memorabilia amongst the GNE supporters. To quote the seemingly immortal BB King, “The Thrill Has Gone” – a sign of things to come!

The match starts in something of a downpour with Maine Road in Sky Blue, no real surprise there, and GNE in White again – oh dear (or maybe not considering recent performances (very few) in Blue. Time to put this one to bed perhaps). GNE fail to take the lead as the ball sticks in the first patch of mud we have seen this season – a sign of things to come!

After 45 minutes it’s half time. 1-0 in favour of the home team and talk turns to pies. The “proud to be” Chairman of the Supporters Club describes the pies as “poisonous”. This comment, it turns out, is based on our visit to Brantingham Road last season. A diligent researcher notes that according to the Maine Road message board, the pie lady was awarded “Man of the Match” following a recent defeat by the home team to Ashton Athletic. Mixed messages here – or maybe not - but your ageing scribe fails to find any of our number who sampled a pie this time.

At the end of the match it is 2-1 to the home side and the always fair GNE travelling support wonder how the better team managed to lose as the sodden flags are taken down from the railings. The journey home is quiet as Oggie calculates that we have lost 13 league points already this season – yes we do care.

Oh Martin Parker ….

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