Bacup Borough 0 GNE 0

Autumn comes, and with it the leaves on the trees turn from green to brown.
Such changes are reflected in music – recommended listening “Autumn Leaves” from the album Portrait in Jazz (1959) by the incomparable trio led by the jazz pianist Mr. Bill Evans. This album is available on amazon.com and, if purchased through fundraising.org, can bring valuable revenue into the Glossop North End Official Supporters Club for the benefit of GNE in general – end of adverts, promise. This version has no words but is redolent with the feelings of the season in question – if slightly up-tempo.
Great art recognises the season as in the glorious painting entitled “Autumn Leaves” by John Everett Millais. Well worth a visit to the Manchester Art Gallery on Mosley Street just to see this one.
And in poetry, we have “To Autumn” by the romantic poet John Keats. The first 4 lines of which are:

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run;

A much analysed poem from 1819. In effect, a melancholic tome reflecting upon not only the fruitfulness of the season but also, with foreboding, on the seasons to come – we know what he means – brrr – it’s cold in Bacup.
Romantic and romanticised versions of Autumn perhaps and so far so good, if my dear reader is still with me at this point, but what has this got to do with football? “Not a lot!” I hear the cries from the Trenches – of which more later - and that would be true. However, now we are in Autumn, the GNE travelling army need to prepare. No more the T-Shirts of our “glorious” summer. No more the clink of delicate glasses half filled with perfectly chilled Sauvignon Blanc (with overtones of elderflower and freshly mown grass). No more the sound of leather on willow on a balmy, if slightly damp, evening in Rammy. The choice of headgear goes from the merely fashionable – remember the green Swiss Fusiliers cap with the dangly black bits at the back – to the purely functional. Big coats are dusted down, the moths dispersed and, in dark funereal style colours, we set off, on the Supporters Club minibus – ably piloted by Shifty - for Bacup, looking forward to nothing more than Bovril in Styrofoam cups and the highly reputed pies.
£6 entrance to a ground where the pitch has a pronounced side to side slope. Ground is surrounded by a traditional stone wall similar to that surrounding many well appointed Lancashire League Cricket grounds but that’s where the similarity ends. Step ladders are seen leaning against the wall at a number of points around the ground. These turn out to be for the benefit of the ball boys when retrieving footballs which have been kicked out of the ground – it should be said that this activity could raise the interest of the Health and Safety police but I won’t tell anyone if you won’t. Having said that, these ladders could double up as emergency exits from the ground in case of flash flooding – not unknown around here as Bacup must have one of the worst records in the Vodkat League for postponements due to waterlogging – an award possibly challenged for by New Mills but, sorry New Mills, second again! Some work is going on which appears to be related to reducing the tendency of the ground to flood. This works seems to be the digging of trenches – strategically placed perhaps but mere slit trenches when a full scale Anglo-Saxon moat would be more appropriate. The likely winner of the worst outside toilet award is still in place in the bottom left hand corner of the ground – words fail me.
£1.50 gets a programme which contains a crossword on sporting themes described as “for fun”. This is a good idea but fails in that the crossword is too hard. For example,

3 down. CS ----- Ardennes to give this French Ligue 2 club it’s full name (5).

If you don’t know, the answer is on page 24 of the programme, if you do know – without cheating - then, yet again, words fail me but go to the top of the non-existent class for footballing anoraks.
Pie and peas are indeed good – homemade tray style pie. However, one connoisseur comments on a lack of seasoning. It is true that condiments are available on a side table but this displays a certain lack of confidence perhaps in that would Heston Blumenthal give the eater such a choice?
The teams enter the arena to be greeted by around 50 of the GNE travelling army in a crowd given as 117. No Rhodri Giggs this time – he is back at Salford – so focus switches to the Bacup goalkeeper. Well, reference to eating pies would be appropriate here and, should he be able to find a GNE pink goalkeeping shirt which would fit, he would certainly be the image of “Mr. Blobby”. For once, the Trenches chant of “you fat bastard”, as aimed at opposing goalkeepers, would be spot on in regard to the “fat” bit. I could go on but, having said that, he’s a good bloke and a pretty decent keeper.
After a minor pitch invasion by two GNE supporters, not really – they just leaned too heavily on a perimeter gate which was not well secured, and after 45 minutes, it’s half-time. 0-0 and an injured Bacup layer limps off having been seemingly abandoned by the Bacup Manager/Physio following treatment for an injury sustained just before half time.
The second half starts and the Supporters Club Chairman of Vice spots the newly established “GNE Official Photographers Fan Club”. Fame indeed but short lived as they disperse after 5 minutes – must have been something you said Jim!
After 15 minutes Martin Parker returns to action in a GNE shirt to a ragged chorus of “Oh Martin Parker …” from behind the goal at the “outdoor toilet end”. Thus confirming the rumour, which reached your ageing scribe somewhere “East of Ipswich”, that Martin had returned – welcome back.
At full time, the score remains 0-0 and the ladders are rapidly removed from the stone walls. Not quite the military precision we saw when the goalposts and everything were removed after the recent match at Abbey Hey (Gorton). Suspect that the local decorator has a job on…