Newhall Utd 3 GNE 8 - Derbyshire Cup

We are advised that, although still in Derbyshire, Newhall is close to Burton-upon-Trent, Staffordshire. The town of Burton-upon-Trent brings to mind the subject close to the heat of many a football supporter – beer!

Burton was the cradle of the beer style known today as bitter. This is largely to do with the mineral salts in the Burton water which is still replicated in many breweries across this green and pleasant land of ours by the process of “burtonisation” of the brewing liquor which is the adding of these salts where they may be naturally lacking in the local supply. To many, the pinnacle of bitter brewing came with the introduction of Draught Bass. This copper coloured bitter gaining legendary status amongst real ale drinkers countrywide. Some years ago, the bean counters at Bass decided to switch the brewing method for Draught Bass from the quirky Burton Union system, with its distinctive swan neck fermenters, to the more economical conical fermenters and a national institution of a beer was lost forever. Please do not believe the Bass (now Coors of Colorado!!!) publicity machine which claims that Draught Bass is “just the same as ever” – it is not. This leaves Marstons Pedigree, the “Official” beer of the England Cricket Team, as the last beer brewed using the Burton Union system – but more on that later. Recommended drinking when in Burton-upon-Trent is Porter from the Burton Bridge Brewery – a 4.5% ABV red coloured beer with a somewhat fruity taste which develops into a satisfyingly bitter finish – superb.

In preparation for this match, two officials of Newhall United were at Surrey Street last Wednesday. They are looking forward to our visit to Newhall and are making appropriate preparations – beer and pies. Oh how simple the needs and wants of the average football supporter. The subject of this beer was anticipated on our Message Board. Seems that Newhall have sourced “a keg” of Marstons Pedigree especially for the visit of the mighty GNE travelling army. This prompted learned debate on the subject of “measures” as related to beer. The rose tinted glasses of your ageing scribe misted up slightly with memories of firkins, kilderkins and hogsheads to go alongside rods, poles and perches – not forgetting the still very useful chain which, as we all know, is the length of a cricket pitch – and all of the other old units which featured prominently on the back pages of old school exercise books. These units are now considered to be “past their use by date” as we grow to accept this “New Metric Britain” of ours. However, despite all of the efforts of the Eurocrats in Brussels, we still retain the pint as a legal measure – but for how long? You know the standard Euro way of doing things – ask the question until you get the “correct answer” – cf. the recent Irish vote on the Lisbon Treaty.

And so to Newhall on the Supporters Club luxury coach. Two hours from Glossop and still in Derbyshire (just). Isn’t it strange how we can draw parallels with other recent destinations? In a similar way to Rossington, Newhall (population around 7,000) is an ex-coalmining area. Again, having survived the immediate decimation of the coal mining industry after the miners strike of 1984/5, mining only finished in this area relatively recently with the last deep pit (Cadley) being closed in 1998 and the last open cast mine (Park Road, Stanton) following one year later. In common with many ex-coalmining communities, and Flixton, Newhall have a Brass Band – Championship grade.

Organised football in Newhall can be traced back to 1879 – even earlier than the advent of the might GNE in 1886. However, Newhall United were formed as a colliery team in 1926. There is a (very) short history of previous matches between Glossop and Newhall which can be found on our Message Board thanks to the diligent research of the erudite Haggis.

We arrive at the ground, after a trip through a housing estate, to find the second “drive through” turnstile of the season – remember Abbey Hey? The guy with the Gresley Rovers polo shirt who is taking entrance money is obliged to move his table so that our luxury coach can manoeuvre into the ground. £4 entrance and your ageing scribe was asked if he qualified for the concessionary entrance price of £2. Never been asked this before and too dumbfounded to comment – I may be ageing but not yet aged – paid up the £4 and contributed another £1 for a programme. Pretty decent programme, considering this is a Step 7 club, which includes two quizzes and a wordsearch – very imaginative. The quizzes, one on “Football” the other on “Other Sports” at least have the merit of being do-able, unlike the crossword in the Bacup programme. The Marstons Pedigree is in place and going well but the pies are delayed 30 minutes for reasons which are not clear. Clubhouse is small but well constructed and the GNE flags are hung from every possible location – seven flags today which must be something of a record – excellent. When the pies are ready they are variously described as “not bad”, “air pies” and “over-priced”. However, mint sauce was provided on the side to add to the peas, or even the pies, depending upon individual taste. Special mention for the tea here. Rated as 9 out of 10 and an absolute bargain at 50 pence for a large cup.

Suitably refreshed the GNE contingent of around 75 out of a crowd of 112, watch the teams enter the slightly sloping pitch – it used to slope more than this apparently. Mention must be made of the Newhall No.10 who is sporting a pony tail and a Beckham-esque beard – umm. After 45 minutes, it’s half time. 2-2.

During the second half, two of our supporters go to sit in the Home dug out and hold a conversation with the Newhall Assistant Manager – probably something to do with tactics as Newhall were heading to a heavy defeat by this time. Or, perhaps, they just felt sorry for the guy who was sat there alone. Anyway, pure quality which could never happen in the higher reaches of this noble game of ours – “we are the Glossop girls”!


The above wonderful photograph recording this incident is worth a thousand words, even a thousand words attributed to your ageing scribe.

At the end of the match its 8-3 to Glossop North End and the Marstons Pedigree has run out - mission achieved!

The journey back to Glossop, on the luxury coach, is enlivened by chants and songs from the back – excellent, a true GNE away experience – we look forward to the next one. The aaaaaaaaaaaahh lasts from Hayfield to Surrey Street – stunning!