Let’s go back, albeit briefly, to St. Helens. Having thought about this experience for a little while, it is entirely possible that we were victims of the Law of Unintended Consequences. We can define this Law as an action (or policy) which seems, on the face of it, to be a good idea but, in fact, turns out to be a complete nightmare as no one has fully thought through what the consequences would be.
In this case, it could be suggested that all of the stewarding etc. was put in place for Health and Safety reasons which are perhaps completely valid when the ground is full – 17,500 people. Then, if the same conditions are applied when the crowd is not much more than 100, is that proportionate to the risks which are identifiable when the ground is full? The answer to that last question is very clearly NO and therein lies the Unintended Consequence such that provisions which take into account a full ground, when applied to football matches played by St. Helens Town, are disproportionate and lead to a less than pleasant experience for both home and visiting spectators.
Now, my wiser readers which, btw, is all of you, (now, just hang on a minute. I note that a text term has found its way into this narrative. This is close to astonishing as your ageing scribe was dragged kicking and screaming into the world of the technology of the late 20th century and, so far, thought that he was immune from similar influences relating to this first decade of the 21st century. Seems not, please accept my apologies) will recognise that the Law of Unintended Consequences is not a real Law in that it is not enshrined in the Statute Book of the green and pleasant land of ours but, nevertheless, it is real and at work quietly in the background in many circumstances. Can we think of an example of this Law as it relates to football? Well, not surprisingly, we can and there are many examples. To take just one, let’s consider the Offside Rule.
In the beginning (rather biblical that bit!), the Offside Rule did not exist so there was a certain level of “free-for-all” around each goal. This did tend to distort the game somewhat in that significant numbers of attacking players could, effectively, camp out on the goal line, simply wait for the ball to come their way then “nick” a goal. This may or may not be the origin of the oft used term “goal poacher” – I leave it to you to draw your own conclusions on that one, Anyway, with no Offside Rule, the balance of the game was less than perfect so, in order to improve the game as a spectacle, someone came up with the Offside Rule. I have no need to explain the Offside Rule to you, my learned readers, (note to self: that last bit is a get out, I really must try to get to grips with the Offside Rule myself – hey, readers, you’re not supposed to be reading this bit!!!) but just to comment that the introduction of the Offside Rule, whilst effective in making our glorious game a better spectacle for the ever fanatical supporter, had a number of individual Unintended Consequences. In the general case, the Unintended Consequence was, and still is, controversy. Strange perhaps, but reasonable in that if there is no Offside Rule there can be no controversy about Offside because it does not exist and, as we attend football matches around the North West, what is the aspect of the game which causes most “discussions” between ourselves, particularly our voluble Chairman, and the Assistant Referees? Yes, it is to do with Offside decisions and, crucially, we understand why – yes it is indeed something to do with the eyesight of said officials.
So, in a positive spirit, what could we come up with to improve what we would all agree is a difficult situation? I leave it to your imaginations and, perhaps, if you would be so kind, suggestions on a postcard to the FA, Wembley Stadium, London. Or, if you prefer to wait until May of next year, we may be able to deliver them by hand thus saving the cost of postage. (Maybe this is getting just a bit presumptuous and tempting fate somewhat so please ignore it – bad vibes, negative waves etc.). To help you along, my suggestion is to only employ Assistant Referees whose eyesight is such that one eye is set at 45 degrees to the other thus enabling the aforementioned assistant to be able to see both the player passing the ball and the player receiving the ball at the same time. OK, so this may be physiologically impossible but, as above, I challenge you to come up with something better.
And, whilst you are all thinking about that one, and, let’s be honest, Christmas is coming and there is nothing much else to do; have a go at coming up with the Unintended Consequences relating to the introduction of substitutes and/or the backpass rule into our now less than noble game – no prizes, tight sod that I am, just a bit of fun!
So, in the luxury coach shared with players and management, off we go to Silsden. As many will know, Silsden play at Cougar Park, a 7,500 capacity Rugby League ground used by the Keighley Cougars RLFC team. And herein lies the contrast with St. Helens. The Cougars play in the Co-operative Championship 1 league which is a couple of rungs down the ladder from St. Helens who are a Super League club. This difference is reflected in the stewarding in that there were no more than 4 stewards, all of whom were decent blokes and open to a chat. In addition, the main wooden stand is non-smoking (fair enough) but there are no such restrictions on the rest of the ground which was open to walk round.
£5 entrance and £1 for a very good programme, could be a contender this one for the best programme in the league. Pleasant clubhouse with the usual selection of freezing cold keg beers – yuk!! Then the first real shock of the day – NO PIES!!! Our chief pie correspondent is distraught and retires to the local Mc Donald’s for “solid” sustenance. Much discussion by the GNE travelling army of around 40 (crowd given as 118 on the Vodkat League website) about the requirements at this level to provide food for supporters. Sorry Silsden, crisps do not count and what a missed opportunity for the home club.
The travelling GNE Army occupy the North Stand which is known as the Jewson Stand for fairly obvious reasons. This is a very upmarket version of the Surrey Street scrattin’ shed. A three flag day. The game kicks off as the very good floodlights come on – a sign of things to come as deepest mid-winter approaches. After 45 minutes, it’s half time with Silsden leading 1-0 and GNE down to 10 men.
At half time, a few of our number escape the ground to the aforementioned Mc Donald’s – conspiracy theories surface here as maybe Silsden are in cahoots with Mc Donald’s by not serving pies so forcing supporters to go to Mc Donald’s on a quiet afternoon for them if they want anything to eat. “You may say that, I couldn’t possibly comment” – and then find that they cannot get back into the ground at the bottom end as a gate has been locked. After a long walk around the cricket pitch at the side of the ground, all is restored although the first few minutes of the second half have been missed.
At the end of the game its 1-1 and a great performance in the second half by the 10 man GNE.
Next match away at Barwell …..
c u l8r…..
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