Runcorn Linnets 3 GNE 1

It is sometimes said that people get to look like their pets. Not sure if a certain Mr. Charles Darwin would agree with this form of “evolution” but there could be considered to be an element of “natural selection” in that people do choose their pets. If we look into this a little further, we could consider the “selection” of animals associated with sporting teams – presumably to make some sort of point about what opponents could expect when teams meet on the field of play.

As examples, we have the Leicester Tigers in Rugby Union, the Glamorgan Dragons in cricket and the Wakefield Wild Cats in Rugby League – not at all sure how many Tigers there are in Leicester, or Panthers in Glamorgan, but the presence of wild cats in Wakefield on a Friday night has been independently verified. All of these examples suggest that if the team takes after the animal - even a mythical one - of choice, then the least that could be expected is that they will play with power and aggression.

And then we have the Runcorn Linnets.

The linnet is a small-ish inoffensive bird of the Passerine family. Characterised by a red-breast, uneven flight and a call which is described as a twitter; the linnet often migrates south in the winter to breed. Not very promising in suggesting power and aggression but perhaps we need to go back and consider this in terms of some sort of natural selection.

Think here about late winter holidays abroad and let’s look at each of these characteristics in turn.

Small-ish inoffensive bird – doesn’t take too much thinking about to decide what this may mean in this context.
Red breast – could this be anything to do with out of season exposure to that big yellow thing in the sky which normally avoids Glossop for most of the year?
Uneven flight – being chased from a bar in a somewhat inebriated state having managed to do something to offend the sensibilities of someone else.
Twitter – a means of informing your mates back in chilly Blighty what a wonderful time someone may be having.
South to breed - needs no further explanation, to my essentially adult audience, from your ageing scribe.

So, you get the picture, the good people of Runcorn selected The Linnet as the chosen name of their football club to represent a woman who goes on holiday to warmer climes in the winter. She sunbaths topless, gets drunk in local bars, contacts home on a regular basis to gloat about the wonderful time she is having and, whilst abroad, engages in activities which I had better leave to your imaginations.

Think then about the recent history of football matches between Runcorn Linnets and the mighty GNE which have been, to say the least, tinged with a bit of aggression both on and off the pitch.

Umm, someone has misunderstood something here…

So, we enter the stadium looking for Linnets but, of course, there are none. The reason for this is clearly understood as they will all be in Magaluf or Ibiza Town, this being a chilly night in early March. And then, not many “local” people here either as Runcorn Linnets play at Wincham Park, Northwich, the home of Witton Albion FC of the Unibond South, whilst their new ground in Runcorn is under construction.

£5-50 entrance and £1-20 for a very decent programme. This is an excellent stadium, built in the good times for Witton Albion FC. Very bright floodlights – too bright and low for your ageing scribe’s rose tinted varifocals to deal with easily – excellent main stand with extensive bar facilities boasting an interesting range of bottled beers alongside the normal very cold keg offerings. On the other three sides of the ground we find covered stands and the whole place is in very good order. Of equal, if not greater importance, is the playing surface which looks to be excellent and promises good quality football.

Our chief pie correspondent describes the pies as “very good” and comments that he would not be ashamed if we served pies of this quality back at fortress Surrey Street but still not quite as good as Mettricks Finest. Pie, chips and gravy at £3 from the pie hut in the bottom corner of the ground said to be “delicious”. And then, sadly, we find yet another example of an away club underestimating the strength and pie eating capacity of the GNE travelling army as the pies run out at half-time, (yes, there is a joke here somewhere but I’ve used it before – cf. GNE Away 12 – Alsager 1 GNE 3).

The travelling support of around 30, out of a crowd given as 134, set up behind the goal at the turnstile end – a 5 flag day - very creditable as this place is not the easiest to get to on a Tuesday night in early March (or any other time of year for that matter). GNE score a goal at the opposite end of the ground straight from the kick off. This encourages us to move around to the opposite goal in anticipation of more action and, possibly, goals to come at that end. Sadly, we are mistaken as most of the action occurs at the end we have just vacated and, after 45 minutes, its half time and Runcorn Linnets lead 3-1.

No further goals in the second half and comment is made that perhaps we should have moved not half way around this ground but 400 yards down the road to the next ground where Northwich Victoria were involved in what sounded to be an exciting match. The flags are taken down from the fencing and the ground empties rapidly in almost complete silence. The journey home is also, essentially, quiet except for phone calls to absent friends to update them on the match.

Ah well! We have to put this one behind us and look forward to the next match – Formby here we come.