Nelson 2 GNE 0

At 2.28 a.m. on Friday 7th May, the result of the Parliamentary Election for the High Peak constituency is declared. Conservative win from Labour. As your ageing scribe continues the long vigil through the early hours of the day – fortified only by strong black coffee – the overall result is “confusion”; and the rest of Friday passes in a haze of political indecision – nothing new there then – as the cognoscenti go around muttering “unprecedented, unprecedented”. Well, all we can say to that boys and girls is “remember 1974, remember 1974”.

Saturday morning dawns bright and breezy and preparations need to be made. The wheel has come full circle, as it were, and we approach the last match of the season and, therefore, by definition, the last GNE awayday of this season. The hoolie-van leaves The Friendship slightly later than expected and heads for the East Lancashire “towns clinging to the sides of hills” for the third time in less than a fortnight. It is noted that with the expected relegation of Rossendale United into our league and the promotion of Barnoldswick Town from the first division, we had better get used to travelling the M60 /M66 /A56 / M65 route next season.

Those with previous memories of the football ground at Nelson suggest that suitable refreshment would be better obtained at a local hostelry. We pitch up at a huge town centre pub. Many flags of St. George adorn the bar area and all of the rooms and we wonder if this is preparation for the World Cup or could this be a BNP stronghold and they have not yet got round to removing the flags. On closer inspection, the World Cup option is confirmed. In every room there are large screen TV sets showing the play off match between Blackpool and Nottingham Forest with a commentary in Italian – doesn’t football with an Italian commentary seem more exciting?

We head off to the ground. £5 entrance and no programmes left. A cold North Easterly wind greets the GNE travelling army of about 65 from a crowd given later as 114 – excellent effort. A four flag day. Borrowing a programme, we see a lot of information but a very poor print quality – not a contender this one! The first thing which strikes on entering the ground is a row of Victorian stone built terraced houses – Holme Terrace – which runs all the way alongside one of the long touchlines. Presumably built to house workers in a local factory, these houses are magnificent and a true testament to Victorian house building skills. On the other side of the ground, there seems to be a funfair in full swing just beyond the hedge and we wonder why it seems to be necessary for loud music to accompany such events. Common practice now and maybe to do with masking the screams of the people riding the ever more daredevil rides?

Pies are variously described as “not bad”, “too cold” and “mush”. Rumour has it that the catering staff had to send out to the local supermarket for extra supplies on a least two occasions. Sadly, yet another example of an away club not recognising the strength in depth and the pie eating capability of the GNE travelling army.

After 45 minutes, its half time and the home side lead 1-0.

For the second half, the flags are removed to the bottom end of the ground near the clubhouse. Rumours abound that the only refreshments they have in the clubhouse are cans of lager. These are dismissed as not being “suitable” for our needs. As the second half kicks off, the “crowd head the ball” competition starts – prize this afternoon is £18. The participants spread out behind the goal to improve their chances. After several near misses, three contenders converge on the ball which is heading towards the clubhouse. In a flurry of arms and legs, Wilky is declared the winner although it was a close run thing with Paul. Wilky’s prize is won at the cost of a potential black eye due to a clash of heads and Paul’s half eaten pie is found to be upturned in the grass area behind the goal – best fate for the pie according to Paul. Seems like a potentially dangerous competition this but great fun.

At the end of the match, the home side register a 2-0 victory and the mighty GNE will have to settle for 7th place in the league table.

The journey home is quiet and we think about the joys of the day yet to come and reflect on the season just finished. Although this is the end of the season in the playing sense, we still have the Supporters Club End of Season Party to look forward to. The consumption of refreshments has been very modest today as we look ahead to the bacchanalian feast yet to come.

Readers of these short narratives will already know that this is the point in the day when the story finishes – normally. But, today is different. After a short pause in proceedings we reconvene in the Clubhouse for the Supporters Club End of Season Party. This follows a similar format to the very successful Christmas Party and progresses along similar lines – it is really cold outside despite the presence of a marquee.

There is no space in this short narrative to discuss in detail the events of the evening – diligent readers are directed to the thread on the GNE Message Board which has some great photos of the event taken by Dicey. Just worth mentioning the “how many people can we fit in the press box?” challenge. In the end, the answer is 24 although it could have been more. Particularly poignant is this as it is expected that the press box will be demolished within the next couple of weeks as the scrattin’shed will be attacked by Shifty – armed with an angle grinder. That being the case, the answer 24 will live on forever – unchallenged. Would really have loved the answer to be 42 and then your ageing scribe could have wittered on almost forever on the subject of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” by Douglas Adams but, on reflection, perhaps better not.

“And now, the end is here and so I face the final curtain”. Well, the end for this season anyway and I have certainly done it “My Way”. For me, it has been a great privilege writing this series of short narratives and to those of you, dear readers, who have read every one – well done indeed. We have travelled all over the North West covering something like 2462 miles in the process and whilst the football might have been a bit up and down throughout the season, the awaydays have been a constant delight. Thanks very much to everyone involved on either a regular or occasional basis – it has been an enriching experience.

See you next season…