Formby 1 GNE 1

Cup fever returns - in a rather understated way.

Still, dreams start with matches like this and who knows where it will all end – remember Sporting Khalsa at home last season! One of our esteemed Directors comments that “this is where the real money is” – suspect that he meant the FA Cup rather than Formby. “A run in this cup is many times more valuable financially than a run in the FA Vase.” Well, so much for the romance of the cup then as your ageing scribe’s rose tinted glasses start to steam up slightly with the understated emotion of it all.

“I’ve a feeling we’re going to lose this one” says Oggie, and then in the next breath starts talking about arranging transport to old outposts of the Yorkshire coal fields for the next round. Mixed messages here Oggie, and we are minded of the comments of our indomitable Manager in the 5 minute interview with the erudite Haggis where on the one hand, “we want to get this club into the Unibond and to get into the Unibond we have to win the league” but on the other hand “as long as we finish near the top, I’ll be happy”. Make your own judgements on that one.

Rumour has it that, unlike our last league game here, in the overcrowded month which was April, we may be able to imbibe some liquid refreshment of substance this time. Cans and bottles only but never mind, must be better than £1 for a coffee which was all we could get last time. Someone starts a nasty rumour that Formby do not possess a bottle opener. The least imaginative among us thinks “OK, cans it is then”. There is talk of the irrepressible Ultras using their teeth to open bottles and then Loopy suggests that she brings a bottle opener – too damn practical these women – don’t you just hate it chaps!

£5 entrance and £1 for a programme which, I kid you not, was no more than two folded pages of A4 - no worries with this one Neil in the race to win the programme of the year award.

Similarly, questions about the quality of the pies were met with a grudging “OK I suppose” type of response. We’re still in the running for the best pies award as well methinks, but early days yet.

Spent sometime looking for “our friend” from the last league game - christened “Village Idiot” by those of an uncharitable disposition - you remember him surely, the guy with his jumper on back to front and a strange style of conversation. However, nowhere to be seen - second disappointment of the day (after the “programme”).

A wide open ground with no protection from the prevailing South West wind. A low concrete fence surrounds the playing area painted (badly) in a certain shade of brown - much prefer our Battleship Grey colour anytime.

The teams enter the field to ragged applause from the few home fans and feigned indifference from a Glossop contingent in excess of 70 souls in a crowd given later as 95 on the Vodkat League website. GNE in white again - oh dear! The Formby kit of Black and Fluorescent Yellow make them look like a cross between the referee and the linesman’s - sorry, assistant referee’s - flag. I can hear the excuses now. Mind you the replica kit of a fluorescent safety jerkin over a black T-Shirt has the merit of being pretty accurate and very cheap. Having said that, I hope our goalkeeper has his excuses ready as he takes to the field in a red top, black shorts and yellow socks - needs the Ishihara test (look it up!!) if you ask me - honestly Stuart!

The game kicks off with GNE playing with the prevailing wind. 45 minutes later it’s half time and the score is 0-0. With half time comes what could be described as a squally shower from the South West. Horizontal rain, meaning that the stand at the car park end gave no protection whatsoever.

Retire for a can of something in the “fully licensed bar” - so it says in the “programme”. Heard that supplies of cans of what was described as Bitter had run out before the kick off and a chap was despatched to the Tesco down the road for more supplies. Must have underestimated our travelling support in terms of numbers or drinking ability - probably both come to think about it. Chap behind the bar commented that “football supporters are supposed to drink lager, we’ve got plenty of that” - words fail me.

For the second half, the GNE supporters think that they can outwit the weather by assembling in the stand at the top end of the ground which gives shelter from the prevailing Sou’Westerly - then the wind drops and the sun comes out - good plan though folks. Early goal for GNE followed by an equaliser for the home team - against the run of play according to the always fair Glossop away support. Glossop denied a cast iron penalty in the last five minutes and the game ends 1-1.

So, back to Surrey Street on Wednesday for the replay and already, just 1 week into the new season, the spectre of fixture congestion rises as a tiny dot on the far horizon – keep an eye on that dot. When the potential ogre of fixture congestion is mentioned to our normally voluble Chairman all that was forthcoming was an enigmatic smile.

Hold the coaches Oggie!