Winsford 1 GNE 4

Now that the Ashes series has been won by England – brilliant performance at the Oval, those baggy green caps never stood a chance – we can turn 100% of our attention to our National Winter Game. Note here the mathematically correct 100% rather than the mathematical nonsense which is often used in the footballing context. Remember the oft quoted phrase “I’ll give it 110%, Brian” which, according to the now fading memory of your ageing scribe, was attributed to a certain Mr. Paul “Gazza” Gascoigne in an interview with Brian Viner of the Independent on Sunday in August 2000 – happy to be corrected on this point if anyone knows of an earlier reference to this most peculiar form of footballing vernacular.

First up, post that magnificent Ashes triumph at the Oval – those baggy green caps never stood a chance – is Winsford United. When we think of the great footballing venues in Europe, Winsford tends to be rather low down on a list which could be headed by Milan, Madrid, Turin, Barcelona …

Aaah, Barcelona, city of tremendous culture and two Primera Liga football teams. Capital of the independent (so the residents would tell you) state of Catalunya, the hot bed of industry in Spain and second only (although the residents would not agree) to the great city of Madrid in the Spanish speaking world. Although, having said that, the fiercely independent Catalans have their own language so even this last bit is not strictly true.

Aaah, Barcelona, home to the architecture of Gaudi and the famous Sagrada Familia which, after 100 years or more in the construction, is still not finished. Work in progress we could say – much like the ground improvements at fortress Surrey Street. Memories are made of visits to cities such as Barcelona with wide pedestrianised areas (Ramblas), fountains gently cascading cooling water on to supporters of FC Barcelona when ever they win an important match (Placa Catalunya) and the imposing stadium of the Camp Nou scene of many footballing battles (in every sense of the word battle).

However, back to Winsford. This is a town built on salt. Or, rather, it was built on salt until a lot of it was mined to keep our roads clear of ice and frost by the simple means of spreading such rock salt onto our highways and byways (but rarely footpaths) at the merest hint of cold weather to come – underground Winsford must look like some version of an Emmenthal cheese now. We could go on endlessly about the efficiency and effectiveness of the process of spreading rock salt but perhaps we could just consider cold weather. “I’ve been here before in August – it was cold,” said Oggie. “Not much better in October” comments one of our esteemed Directors. “Came here last season in early January” adds our proud to be Chairman of the Supporters Club, “nearly froze me nads off” – do we need a translation here or can we work it out??

My memories are of Winsford United in the old Cheshire League playing against the likes of Altrincham, Northwich Victoria and the team I was proud to follow – Stalybridge Celtic. Good standard of football then with Altrincham unlucky on a number of occasions not to go into the old 4th division of the Football League due to the somewhat arcane system of “re-election” which prevailed in those far off times. Winsford United won the Cheshire League in the mid 70’s and boasted significant attendances. However, things move onwards and downwards with the Barton Stadium, a mere shadow of its former self, showing significant indications of fading glory. Recent suggestions have been made to merge Winsford United with Northwich Victoria to form “Vale Royal United” or something similar. Vale Royal was the name given to the large area of mid-Cheshire, which includes both Winsford and Northwich, during the ill-fated Local Government Re-Organisation Act of 1974. You know, the one which created Tameside and other such anachronisms.

And so into the fading Barton Stadium. £6 to get in and £1.50 for a programme. The Glossop contingent of about 20 (not an easy place to get to isn’t Winsford on a mid-week evening) swell the crowd into three figures - official crowd given as 119. GNE in White again - oh dear. At this point, your ageing scribe has a confession to make. As the mighty GNE trot purposefully onto the field I am sitting outside a bar close to the Placa Catalunya in downtown Barcelona sipping San Miguel in the fading sunlight watching the world go by. It’s warm here - no idea if Winsford tonight is as cold as its reputation but do I care? Dead right I do, what would you prefer? Barcelona on a barmy late summer’s evening or Winsford on a Tuesday night? Answers on a postcard if you can be bothered.

An eventful game so I hear and ending with the first league win of the season. From what I can discover we did not give them a goal start and did not concede a penalty - two very significant points of improvement. However, our ebullient Captain was red-carded, apparently for defending himself from attack - somewhere there must have been a change in the rules which has passed us by. Anyway, suggest that the match report written by the erudite Haggis be consulted for greater detail.

The GNE Away adventure continues on Saturday with a trip to darkest Yorkshire but memories could be elsewhere

Aaah Barcelona….