Atherton LR 4 GNE 1

Atherton has three amateur football teams, Atherton Collieries, Atherton LR and Atherton Town – not bad for a town of just over 20,000 people (rather smaller than our beloved Glossop).

OK, so what does the LR stand for? No doubt a number of my dear readers will know the answer to this one – and I am by no means trying to usurp the role of “The Teacher’s Footy Quiz” in the GNE matchday programme - but the origins of the name Atherton LR still make for interesting reading – perhaps.

Well, the LR stands for Laburnum Rovers and, not surprisingly, this was the original name of the club now known as Atherton LR. The roots of the club go back to 1956 with a group of young lads playing football in the street – perhaps it was Laburnum Street but this is not clear. The name change came in 1980 when an application to join the old Cheshire County League was accepted. A stipulation of the league was that the name of the club had to represent the town they were from, hence Atherton Laburnum Rovers.

Interesting rule that one which would have serious repercussions if applied universally. As an illustration, I take just one example. Many will already know that there is no such place as Raith in Scotland. If we were to apply the rule, then Raith Rovers would be known as something like “Kircaldy Rovers”. Reasonably OK so far but had this occurred it would have deprived the footballing community of what is often quoted as a “Colemanball”. That being a famous Raith Rovers victory in the 1960s which led to the BBC commentator saying that “the fans would be dancing in the streets of Raith tonight”. Well, two points of clarification on this one. First of all, this probably owes more to the Rugby Union commentator the late Bill McClaren than anyone else and, secondly, the BBC commentator in question was Sam Leitch and not David Coleman. Ah well, “never let the truth get in the way of a good story” said Oggie – a principle applied rigorously by your ageing scribe in the construction of this series of short narratives.

Further, reference to Raith Rovers reminds me of the most famous modern day supporter of Raith Rovers that being Mr. Gordon, Prudence, Son of the Manse, Brown, our Prime Minister – at least for a few more days. Isn’t it quite remarkable how our green and pleasant land has been invaded over recent decades by politicians of Scottish descent and that despite voting for devolution for Scotland in the shape of the Scottish parliament – budget £40+ million, actual cost £400+ million for that monstrous building at the Holyrood House end of the Royal Mile in Edinburgh – these people get to shape the destiny of England without any reciprocity? After more than 25 years, we still await a satisfactory answer to the “West Lothian” question, as posed by the former MP for West Lothian, Mr. Tam Dalyell, and the knotty mathematical problem known as the “Barnett Formula” which relates to funding levels in Scotland. At least, in real mathematics, we now have a solution relating to Fermat’s Last Theorem and I cordially invite our resident mathematician to supply a solution to the seemingly intractable issues relating to the Barnett Formula. Without really giving the game away, our resident mathematician is also the Supporters Club Chairman of Vice – who says blokes can’t multi-task – and there may be no coincidence in the shared surname.

Going back to the West Lothian question, anybody who comes up with a way out of this one would probably be granted a life peerage but it must be said that Mr. Joel Barnett, who proposed the Barnett Formula, was elevated to the Lords without actually solving anything!! However, having said that, such a “prize” may not now be considered to be as desirable as in the past. This is not only to do with the ongoing tinkering with the structure of the House of Lords, but also due to the likely fall out from the MPs expenses controversy – don’t get me started on that one otherwise we will never get to Congleton. Yes, I know that the Congleton Town game is 2 days away but, even so…

On the way to the match, one of our esteemed Directors emphasises the point about there being more than one football team in Atherton by regaling us with the tale of arriving at LR, finding it deserted only to eventually find out the GNE were playing at Atherton Collieries – an easy mistake to make, perhaps!

£5 entrance and £1 for a programme printed for the match originally scheduled for March 30th but subsequently postponed until tonight. However, there are two features of the programme worthy of note. The first is that the mighty GNE are described as having a manager by the name of Steve Yates. This prompts your ageing scribe to ask if we have a centre half by the name of Danny Young?? The second is the description of Garry Kharas as a “veteran howitzer”. Very imaginative is this and we wonder if the tag will stick.

The playing surface is interesting with a pronounced end to end slope, very long grass and rare species of native flora in the space between the touchlines and the perimeter fence. A botanist’s dream as we imagine some guy crawling around on all fours, magnifying glass in hand, searching for the final resting place of some long thought extinct species of orchid.

The “intimate” clubhouse is just one of many buildings around the ground, all of which appear to be set at improbable angles due to the slope of the pitch. We are advised that there are no pies for sale although a “pie warmer, full of pies” is spotted. Requests for cups of coffee are greeted by a very definite No!! Seems that pies and tea/coffee are destined for the players and Directors but a missed commercial opportunity here – not for the first time - remember Silsden?

GNE start by playing uphill and a small section of the GNE travelling army of around 30 from a crowd given later as 52, set up the flags in front of a shed opposite the main stand. A two flag day. The floodlights come on – well some of them do – and Dicey hopes for some early action to photograph as the light fades rapidly on this drizzly, dank evening. Close to the end of the first half, Martin Parker comes off the pitch to be replaced by Rick Bailey. This prompts a re-organisation in the backline and our indomitable Manager (Steve Yates??) is heard to instruct Trucca to go to centre back. An audible sigh emanates from the GNE support as memories of Winsford in the League Cup coming flooding back. Our indomitable Manager retorts, “even the crowd don’t like that decision” – how true!!

After 45 minutes, it’s half time. 3-0 to Atherton LR and, according to our voluble Chairman, 3 assists for GNE. The setting sun peeps briefly through the clouds and a rainbow is spotted behind the railway line at the bottom end of the ground. This prompts references to a current television programme in the “popular culture” slot on Saturday evening on BBC 1 by the suggestion that we are represented on the field tonight by 11 “Dorothy’s”. Brilliant, but no reference to Toto – probably wisely.

In the second half, the GNE supporters in front of the flags look for some entertainment by having a £1 sweep on which of them would be the first to head the ball. After a few near misses, particularly by the ex Old Glossopians centre half who, seemingly, refused to jump – parallels here with the equalising goal by Colne last Tuesday – the prize is won by Shifty with a deft header as the ball is deflected off a clump of dandelions. Attention switches to trying to convince the linesman that the match should be abandoned. Spurious reasons such as defective floodlights and a strong smell of gas fails to bring the desired result. A “spontaneous” pitch invasion is discussed but, ultimately, rejected as not being in the spirit of the game. Thoughts then turn to the next away match at Congleton on Saturday – the Sambuca awayday!!!

As the match enters the last five minutes, the flags are taken down and GNE score a goal. Should we have taken the flags down earlier – or not put them up at all? Food for thought here, perhaps.

At the end of the match, Atherton LR win 4-1 and take a massive step towards safety from relegation from the Premier Division. One of their supporters later confirms that LR are indeed now safe from relegation and is looking forward to playing us next season. No great surprise that he is looking forward to next season considering the result tonight – cheerfully forgetting, of course, that GNE beat LR comprehensively at Surrey Street only 2 weeks ago. A marvellous thing is a lack of short term memory as your ageing scribe can personally confirm.

All-in-all, LR were “up for it” tonight and GNE were not.

HPR Interviews

Steve Youngs reaction to Colne

Kelvin Lugsden on his injury

Evo-Stik

Following a change in sponsor, Glossop North End can now have aspirations to gain promotion to the Evo-Stik Division One. Mmmm....it's going to take a bit of getting used to.

Colne 1 GNE 1

What does Colne mean to you? A rhetorical question – as are most questions which appear in these short narratives. Well, for some it will be part of that well known trio Burnley, Nelson and Colne – not quite Wilson, Keppel and Betty (if you don’t know – look it up) but probably better known to most of my dear readers. On the footballing side, we regularly play at Nelson and Colne but have no immediate prospects of a match against Burnley although we may well have played Burnley at some time in our illustrious past – help needed from the erudite Haggis on this one.

On the other hand, the dedicated shoppers amongst us, and this does not include your ageing scribe, may have fallen for the dubious charms of a day out at the heavily advertised Boundary Mill Stores. I’m sure that you have all seen the adverts for this establishment “at the end of the M65” which features such delights as Banny’s Fish and Chip Restaurant and an “M&S outlet” – whatever that may be – some sort of plumbing equipment perhaps?

Unknown to many, Colne represents a place of pilgrimage for fans of Rhythm and Blues music. Right on our doorstep, nearly, and for over 20 years, there has been an annual festival of Blues music which takes place over the Bank Holiday Weekend at the end of August. Originally inspired by just one individual who worked for the local council, this event – still supported by Pendle Borough Council – has hosted and continues to attract the best in Blues music from around the world. Organised in multiple venues, including an outside stage near the market, this Festival provides the ideal opportunity to spend a couple of days in this hilly East Lancashire town and sample some of the best Blues to be found anywhere. My particular highlights, mainly at the Civic Hall in the centre of the town, include a sublime performance, in the Chicago Electric Blues style, by Mr. Buddy Guy – recommended CD, “Damn Right, I’ve got the Blues” which features a version of the great Eddy Boyd track “Five Long Years” which runs to something over 8 minutes – stunning!
Another memorable performance was given by Mr. Milton Campbell, better known as Little Milton. Little Milton comes from the Mississippi Delta and, after various record label deals, settled with Malaco Records from Jackson. Mississippi and, virtually single handedly, revived the fortunes of this very small label – just about anything on Malaco is worth listening to, amongst the finest technical productions across the whole of recorded music. Backed by an enthusiastic eight piece band of American musicians, who had travelled from the Southern States of the USA to Colne just for this one gig – shows how big the Festival is – this Soul/Blues singer and guitarist treated a packed audience to some of the best in this style of music. Sadly, Little Milton died a few years ago and his unique talents, of course, died with him.

But what has this got to do with Glossop? Well, a lot really. Many of us will remember the various blues bands which played in The Fleece – now the Moon and Sixpence – some years ago. A fair number of these bands also played at Colne during the Blues Festival, often at the local pubs but also on the outdoor stage near the market ground. Supreme amongst these bands were Bare Wires – presumably named after the John Mayall album of the same name. The only reference I know to recorded work by Bare Wires comes from a compilation album of local blues bands put together by Manchester guitarist, and collaborator with our very own Mr.Victor Brox, Mr. Norman Beaker and entitled “Up Jumped the Blues” dated 1988. Does anyone remember what happened to Bare Wires?
And, of course, it seems to be entirely appropriate to link the music style known as “the Blues” to “the Blues” of Glossop North End – “come on you Blues”!!

We approach Colne in glorious sunshine on this late April evening. Those amongst my dear readers who know Colne but have never visited the football ground, may wonder where there is a piece of land flat enough and big enough to accommodate a football pitch – all will be revealed.

Arriving 45 minutes before kick-off, the turnstiles are not yet open so we enter the ground via the player’s entrance. Eventually, the turnstile is manned - £5 entrance and £1 for a programme of “average” quality. We enter the cosy clubhouse and see newspaper cuttings of times past, but not long ago, indicating previous glories. Indeed, this is the ground used by Colne Dynamoes. With the backing of a local millionaire, Colne Dynamoes were winning divisions and gaining promotions practically every season through the 1980’s including a win in the FA Vase final at Wembley against Emley. The club eventually folded in 1990 after they were refused elevation to the Conference due to ground grading issues. The present Colne FC were formed in 1996 and the highlight for this club was an appearance in the FA Vase semi final in 2003/4 where they lost to AFC Sudbury. Cans and bottles only but a friendly welcome.

The ground is rather out in the hinterland with hills to one side and views of the East Lancashire towns on the other. Sheep gently munch grass in a field on the top side and we wonder if the groundsman needs a mower. As rather suspected, the pitch is by no means flat. It would be difficult to suggest a mathematical description of a pitch which slopes from side to side and from end to end. Perhaps we should leave this one to the Supporters Club Chairman of Vice and our resident mathematician to come up with an answer. What we can say is that if this surface was reproduced on a snooker table at the World Championships currently being played in Sheffield then it would be possible to pot any ball in the “green” pocket from anywhere on the table.

As the teams come out it starts to rain – well, a few spots anyway. The GNE travelling army is more “platoon strength” tonight of about 20 from a crowd announced as 66. A two flag day. We assemble under the shed at the top end and note that the ground is remarkably quiet. Every exhortation from both players and management on both sides is clearly heard. The sheep amble away from the top field, maybe to escape the less than delicate language. Didn’t know that sheep were quite so sensitive to such things – you learn something every day!

After 45 minutes, it’s half-time, 0-0. The pies are described as “very hot”. In fact, so hot that the flavour is masked. Potentially interesting tactic this but not one to be followed at Surrey Street.

The threat of rain passes and we move out into the open at the bottom end of the ground. Our voluble Chairman and building expert reckons that the fall on the ground from side to side must be something over 8 feet. We witness at very close quarters a “screamer” from Dan Browne which gives us a well deserved lead and the thoughts of returning to the High Peak with three points safely garnered. These thoughts are dashed as Colne equalise in injury time and the match ends level at 1-1. Disappointing are our thoughts and we would not like to come up with a suitable adjective to describe the thoughts of our indomitable Manager as his full time “summary” of events, drifting through from the away team dressing room, could be considered to be “forthright” to put it mildly.

The journey home is quiet and uneventful as we consider the next matches to come as we rapidly approach the end of this rather inconsistent season. “Probably end up watching the Reserves tomorrow night” was the general consensus as the Reserves push for honours in both League and Cup. For the first team, next stop Atherton LR on Thursday …

HPR Interviews - New Mills reaction

Martin Parker/Garry Kharas Interview

Steve Young Interview

Supporters Club AGM

Thursday May 13th at The George Hotel - 7.30pm

One of the most important agenda items for an Annual General Meeting relates to the election of officers. When the Supporters Club was first constituted in August 2009, the officers were elected on the basis of serving for 1 year. What we now need to do is to consider this position in accordance with our constitution.

All of the existing eight officers of the Supporters Club have indicated that they will be willing to serve for another year. To remind everybody, the elected officers of the Supporters Club are:-

Tim Barnett
Steve Dyson
Paul Eccles
Barry Mellish
Dave Ogden
Neil Rimmer
Nick Tansley
Stewart Taylor

However, we are more than happy to see if there are any members of the Supporters Club who may wish to become part of the Committee.

Should you wish to become part of the Committee certain conditions must be met:-

1) You must be a current fully paid up member of the Supporters Club.
2) You will need a proposer and a seconder who are also current fully paid up members of the Supporters Club.
3) You will need to send in to the current Secretary a short (no more that 150 words) statement to indicate why you would like to be elected as an officer and what skills you could bring to the organisation.
4) Your statement needs to be signed and dated to indicate your willingness to serve as an officer of the supporters club and sent by e-mail to the Secretary at gnesupporters@googlemail.com to arrive by Thursday 6th May 2010.

If there are no additional nominees to the Committee, the existing Committee will be re-elected. If there are nominees then an appropriate form of election will be held at the AGM.

If there are any questions or comments relating to the above, please contact any of the existing Committee members.

New Mills 0 GNE 1

Local derbies are, generally, the matches which spectators look forward to most every season. Families are often split in their allegiances. Discussions break out in hostelries within the area. Friendships can be strained. But, what is it all about? Well, although in the context of a league match, the league points are the only tangible thing up for grabs, what is considered to be more important are the local bragging rights – at least until the next match.

So where do we find this intense rivalry? Certainly with United and City in Manchester, Liverpool and Everton in Liverpool, the North London derby between Arsenal and Spurs, Inter vs. AC in Milan and, of course, Glossop North End vs. New Mills in this far northern and western corner of Derbyshire.

And it is this reference to Derbyshire which gets us thinking about the word “derby” and how it is used in this context. As often in discussions on word origins, there is no real certainty with this one. The most popular reference is to the horse race of the same name run every year at Epsom racecourse. In this sense, the word “derby” is a noun and is considered to apply to any sporting contest. Then, it follows that the noun “derby” needs qualifying in some way to arrive at the meaning we have today. Examples above such as “the North London Derby” meet this requirement but we can generalise this by reference to the term “local derby”. There is an alternative suggestion to the origin of the term “derby” which relates to the traditional Shrovetide football match in the city of Derby. This was one of these “1,000 or so a side free-for-alls” of which there are a number of examples elsewhere in the country. In these, essentially rule free, encounters, the goals tended to be at either end of the town and the whole town were involved in the contest. Tempting though it may be to “adopt” a local derivation, it is considered more likely that the reference to the horse race is “correct”.

At the beginning of every new football season, when the fixture lists are revealed, our first task, if we are in the same division, is to find out when we play New Mills. Holidays and other social functions depend upon this and nothing must get in the way of attending both the home and away matches. Imagine then our consternation to discover that the date for the visit of New Mills to Surrey Street was a Wednesday evening in September whereas the return match at Church Lane was scheduled, as is traditional, for Boxing Day afternoon. Some lobbying on behalf of both clubs resulted in the September date at Surrey Street being postponed and the original home match against Abbey Hey on Easter Monday being replaced by the visit of New Mills to Surrey Street.

As we know, this turned out to be a bit of a disappointment to the home side in that a victory to New Mills – against the balance of the game many would say – gave the bragging rights to The Millers in front of a crowd of 658. However, the opportunity to reverse this imbalance would come only two weeks later on what turned out to be a very cold night at Church Lane.

As prefaced in the last GNE Away, the day started early for three of the GNE travelling army determined to explore yet another mode of transport to an away game – on foot! Representatives of “the unemployed”, the “retired” and the “council workers” met in The George at 1.15 pm. Refreshment in the form of Old Speckled Hen (Greene King) – smooth, malty and fruity with a short finish. A stroll up Chunal and down the other side (The Grouse was shut) brought us to The Lantern Pike (closed). Next port of call was The Royal in Hayfield at 3.30 pm for Copper Dragon Best Bitter – a traditional Yorkshire bitter with a gentle, hoppy, fruity aroma. Moving on, the Waltzing Weasel hoves into view at 4.30 pm and a stop is made to sample The Reverend James (S.A. Brain) – a faint malt and fruit aroma with malt and fruit flavours in the taste. We enter New Mills and a photograph is taken with the Supporters Club flag.

By now, others of the GNE travelling army are starting to appear. Our real ale expert is spotted on a 61 bus heading for the centre of New Mills. The kit man drives past to get to the dressing rooms at New Mills early. A steep descent past Church Lane takes us to The Beehive close to the well known “sweet shop”. It’s 5.55 pm. Our real ale expert recommends Ale Force from the Storm Brewery – an amber, smooth tasting, complex beer that balances malt, hops and fruit. Thoughts turn to food but Shifty, katykay and Sharon arrive and we move to The Queens, closer to the ground, at 6.35 pm. Hatters Mild (Robinsons) is seen to be darker than expected thus prompting a discussion with the barman. Seems that Robinsons have darkened the beer – addition of caramel presumably – in the last few weeks. Interesting and, arguably, slightly better for that.

We approach the ground at around 7.00 pm some 5 hours or so since leaving Glossop. Very pleasant way to spend a Monday afternoon but probably better in April than in the depths of winter. £5 entrance and £1.50 for a “slightly recycled” programme – we should remember that this fixture has had a few false dawns this season. Then directly to the food hut for pie and chips – not bad at all. The GNE travelling army start to assemble in the well appointed clubhouse and on the hard standing area in front of the dressing rooms. Questions are asked of the walkers such as “did you really walk all the way?” – answer, yes. “do you need a lift back?” – answer, certainly do. A four flag day, one of which is carefully positioned to obscure a Millers flag – good move that! An attempt to count the strength in depth of the GNE support is thwarted somewhat as your aging scribe’s slightly rusting abacus does not register figures above 100. Let’s just say well in advance of 100 and a good effort on a Monday night – official crowd 410.

As the sun sinks slowly in the west, the temperature drops and the right ankle of your ageing scribe starts to give him a bit of gip – not really sure the cause and effect here but, as darkness falls, it gets worse. After 45 minutes its half time, 0-0. Texts to absent friends update them of the score and the GNE support moves to behind the goal at the bottom end of the ground. It could have been written that if GNE were to score a goal tonight the scorer would be Garry Kharas and that is exactly what happened. At the end of the match GNE win 1-0 triggering scenes of great celebration from players and spectators alike. Our ebullient manager simply smiles – well, grins like a Cheshire Cat might be a more appropriate description.

Back to Glossop as quickly as possible to celebrate in the local pubs. 10.00 pm arrive at The Crown – Old Brewery Bitter (Sam. Smiths) – malt dominates the aroma with an initial burst of malt, fruit and hops in the taste. Conversation is dominated by what we have just seen – big smiles all round.

10 hours after leaving home, your ageing scribe returns, almost on one leg. The good lady wife comments “you should know better at your age!” Not much sympathy there then but football was never her strong point.

Bragging rights return to Glossop and we look forward to the next match which, according to the erudite Haggis, is against “the Nelsons” – ah well, could be a bit of a one eyed contest this one...

Ashton Athletic 1 GNE 1

Spring is finally with us, after a long, long winter, and thoughts turn to what has been written in celebration of this season of green refreshment – which in this context has nothing to do with either Green Chartreuse or Absinthe!

“On hearing the first cuckoo in Spring” is a tone poem composed in 1912 by Frederick Delius.
The work opens with a slow three bar sequence. The first theme is an exchange of cuckoo calls, first for oboe and then for divided strings. The second theme of the piece is scored for first violins and is taken from the Norwegian Folk song, “In Ola Valley”. The clarinet returns with the cuckoo calls before the piece ends in pastoral fashion.

Now, 1912 is a long time ago and perhaps this work needs to be updated a bit to recognise the passing of time. Perhaps we could suggest something and give it the working title “On hearing the first lawnmower in Spring”. It could then go something like this.
The work opens with a slow walk from the barbecue to the deckchair – glass of something cold and sparkling in hand. The first theme is an exchange of lawnmower rasps, first for Flymo and then for a cacophony of Qualcasts. The second theme of the piece is scored for first strimmers and is taken from the Old English Folk Song “The Cuckoo” - in its recently revived version “The Karcher”. The hedge trimmer returns in imitation of the lawnmower rasps before the piece ends in the Police being called after complaints of car alarms going off all day.

Fanciful perhaps but certainly true to life as the peace of a Sunday afternoon is ruined by all sorts of devices, all containing a motor of some sort, designed, it seems, to take the hard work out of everything but making everybody feel somewhat less than serene. What price real peace and quiet? And, as a final thought, when was the last time any of my dear readers heard a cuckoo in Glossop?

Thinking about serene – this is perhaps not the best description of the trip to Ashton Athletic, but then, this is Saturday and the fractured peace of Sunday is yet to come.

This away trip has been designated as the fancy dress awayday by the Supporters Club. As an added incentive to travel in fancy dress, the normal £6 cost of travel on the minibus has been waived – extra £6 in beer money then. The travellers assemble at The Star having forsaken the normal meeting place of The Friendship on the grounds that Man. City vs. Man United will be on the TV in The Friendship and the place will be crowded – suspect that there is an attempt to minimise the potential embarrassment here! Costumes are rescued from assorted bags and slowly various characters begin to emerge. We have a couple of pirates, a clown, and old lady, something to do with a horses head, Noddy, Batman, a WPC, and a “schoolgirl”. The proud to be Chairman of the Supporters Club arrives sporting yet another example from his extensive range of headgear. Full marks to the Supporters Club Chairman of Vice who arrives in a costume which could be “the Blues Brothers”, a gangster, a wartime “spiv” or a member of Madness. After much discussion, Suggs wins the day. Not much imagination required to suggest that if we repeat the fancy dress awayday next season, he will come in the same outfit and call himself something else – very efficient.

Conversation on the minibus ranges from new songs for our Latvian striker, Artjoms Butorins – helpfully known as Tom – to the recent leader’s debate on ITV. Wide ranging indeed and, after about an hour, the minibus, ably piloted again by Shifty, arrives at Brocstedes Park. £5 entrance and £1 for a programme rather lacking in detail. We meet up with the erudite Haggis who is suitably dressed for the occasion or, possibly, just taking in a bit of afternoon entertainment before moving on to a black tie dinner at some posh place somewhere in Central Manchester.

We enter the well appointed clubhouse and the expressions on the faces of the locals suggest that it is fair to say that Ashton Athletic never expected this. Refreshments all round and talk turns to New Mills away on Monday night. Arrangements are made for representatives of several clearly defined social groups to walk to New Mills and hope to scrounge a lift back. The social groups represented will be the “unemployed”, the “council workers”, the “retired” and, hopefully, the “self employed”. A late bid to be included comes from a representative of “the graduates” and, to be honest, the more the merrier. By general consensus, it is about six miles from Glossop to New Mills. Given this, arrangements are made to meet at The George at midday to be sure of arriving in New Mills in time for a 7.45 pm kick off. Well, if we work it out, that is less than 1 mile per hour but allowances have to be made for the variation in the state of fitness of the participants and that there is a big hill between Glossop and Hayfield!

The GNE travelling army of something like 35 from an official crowd of 46 unfurl the flags and take up positions – a three flag day. 10 minutes before half-time the pies arrive – bit late this as this Ashton is a suburb of Wigan and the locals are well known for their prowess in pie consumption. The description of Wiganers as pie eaters is said to derive from the General Strike of 1926 when, due to starvation, the local mineworkers in the Wigan area were forced to return to work and, therefore, were said to have “eaten humble pie” – although this version of the origins of the description is disputed. Pies described as “not bad” and given a rating of 7 and a half out of 10 by our pie connoisseur with the comment “worth waiting for”. Five minutes later the pies have all been sold and, sadly, we experience another example of an away club underestimating the strength in depth and pie eating capability of the GNE travelling army.

After 45 minutes its half time and the score is tied, 0-0.

Half way through the second half, the multi talented Supporters Club events co-ordinator returns to the clubhouse in an attempt to trigger yet another goal by GNE which he is destined not to witness. Not for the first time this ploy works as GNE take the lead with a goal from our “veteran” striker/midfielder. The goal celebration is probably unique as the fancy dress revellers set off on an improvised conga – practice for the end of season party perhaps - behind the goal and the goalscorer appears to suggest that he should be handcuffed by the WPC as some sort of “reward” – priceless.

At the end of the match the score is 1-1 and we retire to the well appointed clubhouse seeking refreshment for the journey home. Most of the journey is occupied by appropriate songs and the general agreement that we have had a great day out – GNE awaydays just get better and better. Are we likely to repeat this exercise next season?

Don’t bet against it!!

Fun in the Sun

And a good day was had by all.....

Mass exodus from GNE...well 1, maybe 2

Although not yet official, we believe David Morris has left GNE. Morro going out on a high just after being voted the Vodkat Leagues Player of the Month!

Jamie Kay was also believed to have quit on Wednesday night but Jamie has been known to change his mind so we'll wait and see on that one.

Andy Hurst - Vodkat League Player of the Month

Andy Hurst received his Vodkat award for March prior to last nights game with Atherton LR. Congratulations Andy.

Supporters Player of the Year Voting

The voting for this seasons Supporters Player of the Year starts on Monday night. Supporters will have 3 opportunities to register their vote;

Monday 12th Bacup
Wednesday 14th Atherton LR
Saturday 24th Nelson

Voting slips will be available from the turnstiles and will be collected by members of the SC committee when doing the raffle.

To be eligible for the award, players need to have played in at least 60% of all the games played up to, and including, Squires Gate. This means this years list comprises of the following players;

Rick Bailey
Alex Elliot
Jay Gorton
Darren Hamilton
Jamie Kay
Kelvin Lugsden
David Morris
Adam Oakes
Danny Yates
Dave Young

Squires Gate 2 GNE 1

Six pence for the cruet! This gloriously evocative phrase will bring back some mixed memories amongst the older readership of these short narratives. Memories of dark satanic mills in the north of England, long working days in poor conditions, boys cleaning out chimneys, paintings by LS Lowry and the long looked forward to Wakes Week.

Recent memories of those times long ago were invoked roughly twelve months ago as the special train left Glossop station heading towards London. Indeed, many have said that the “Wembley Special” was the first special train from Glossop since the wakes week specials of something over 40 years ago. This is possibly true but, back in those days, the destination was not London but, more likely, Blackpool. Having worked for 51 weeks of the year in, as suggested, difficult working conditions, which would certainly not be allowed in the “‘Elf & Safety” culture of today, everybody went off on holiday together to get some sun, sea , sand and anything else they could. For some very good reasons – mainly to do with accommodation - wakes weeks were staggered. In our area, Hyde was amongst the first at the very end of June with Ashton bringing up the rear sometime in the middle of August.

And where did they all stay? Well, the history of Blackpool landladies is legendary as the owners of small hotels offering basic food – sometimes - and accommodation for the price of a week’s wage – not a lot in those days but provided by the employer since 1938 under the Holiday with Pay Act. Inevitably, corners were cut in that whole families stayed in one small room and the regime was strict in that if you were not back by closing time then “tough young man – a night under the pier for you”!! It was common practice back in those far off days for families to bring their own food and the landlady to cook it. This practice led to a number of what we may call “opportunities” for landladies to maximize their profits but just one example of the abject profiteering practiced by these fearsome landladies was the custom of charging sixpence extra on the cost of a week’s accommodation for use of the salt, pepper and vinegar at the dining table. But, there was at least a choice. You either paid the sixpence or you brought your own salt, pepper and vinegar on holiday with you. Having said that, there is a least one recorded example of the cruet being just about empty at the beginning of a week, the “guests” buying their own condiments and still being charged “sixpence for the cruet”.

As my regular readers will know, it doesn’t take too much to get your ageing scribe meandering down the twisting lanes of nostalgia – if the slightly misting, rose tinted bi-focals allow it – but what has this got to do with Squires Gate? Today marks a special day in the history of the GNE travelling army. After the match today in what we might call “posh Blackpool” – although I am not sure that the residents of this highly respectable district of Blackpool would appreciate that description – several of our members are heading off to what was described by one of our travel co-ordinators as “the quieter end of Blackpool” and will not return to the uplands of the High Peak until tomorrow. Regrettably, your ageing scribe cannot join this merry band of revellers otherwise we would be drowned in a sea of nostalgia – go on, there’s a blessing then! Apparently, there are several suitable hostelries close to the selected hotel which I am sure will do very good business tonight and, if the price per night in the hotel as quoted is correct then I can well imagine an extra charge for the cruet – we wish them well.

As we pass Preston, the thermometer in the car registers 20oC (68oF for those who still struggle with this “New Metric Britain” of ours – that would include your ageing scribe then would it? Yep, it certainly would). The first time we have seen a temperature like this since last year and a sign, maybe, that the dank chill of winter is finally behind us and the prospect looms of being able to watch a football match without feet turning to blocks of ice. £5 entrance to the ground in a quiet residential area and, for the second time this season, your ageing scribe is asked if he qualifies for concessionary entrance. Someone is trying to tell me something here as the receding hair line tells its own tale of the advancing years – dear me!

The well appointed clubhouse has only cans and bottles to satisfy the needs of the GNE travelling army. However, one of the bottled beers is called “Lifesaver” and is brewed by the Bryson’s Brewery – quite tasty if a little cold. Kick off time approaches and the 35 or so GNE supporters from an official crowd of 92 set up the flags behind the top goal – a three flag day.

The Secretary of Squires Gate FC is heard to say, “thanks for coming today in such numbers, at least we can pay the officials this week”. This speaks volumes about the parlous state of finance in football at this level although how to “make ends meet” is a recurring theme at all levels of football. Recommended reading, The Football Business: Fair Game in the '90s? (1998) and The Beautiful Game?: Searching the Soul of Football (2005). These two books, by the author and Guardian columnist David Conn, focus on the finances of football at all levels and are quite fascinating reading.

After 45 minutes, its half time and Squires Gate lead 1-0.

During the second half, we move down to the bottom end and spend some time watching helicopters and light aircraft approaching the nearby Blackpool Airport – disproportionally noisy things are helicopters don’t you think? Attention then switches to the match between Wren Rovers and Charnock Richard being played on an adjacent pitch and we wonder if that match would have provided more entertainment. Despite a late penalty by Dave Young which, to be honest, is little consolation, the final score is Squires Gate 2 GNE 1 and the comments of the erudite Haggis about our inability to take points away from Squires Gate come to pass for yet another season.

We retire back to the well appointed Clubhouse in search of a “Lifesaver” – we need something – only to discover that they have sold out and can offer cans of Boddies – oh dear.

The revellers head off to Blackpool in the minibus and the rest of us return along the motorway network to the High Peak. Conversation in the car is limited with only the subject of which pub should be the first port of call on our return bringing any animation to proceedings.

Ahh well, another match on Monday…

Newcastle Town 1 GNE 1

Today we visit Newcastle Town who have dropped only 5 points in the league all season – a sign of things to come?

The day gets off to an inauspicious start as rumours reach the assembled group, including the “proud to be” Chairman of the Supporters Club sporting yet another curious piece of headgear – de rigueur in Ireland apparently - that the coach hired for the occasion is stuck under the railway bridge on Arundel Street – a sign of things to come?

Barrygate sets off intrepidly to investigate and returns after a nervous 5 minutes to report that the coach is nowhere to be seen and that it has been variously reported as heading off either back to the High Street or somewhere in the direction of North Road – a sign of things to come?

A quick headcount suggests that we are one short of the expected compliment. Who is missing? Turns out to be the boy and the conclusion is rapidly reached that he is still in bed or does not have permission to come – probably the former to be honest as your ageing scribe tries to think back far enough to when sleeping until after midday was the norm – and fails.

The coach finally arrives at the ground from the direction of Tesco. The joys of satellite navigation perhaps even though the coach company were clearly told to head for Glossop Brook Road. The coach fills up with players, management, directors, spectators and kit and heads off towards Newcastle. Quick thoughts that the aforementioned satellite navigation system has been programmed for Newcastle-upon-Tyne were quickly dispelled and off we went. Before we had reached the lights at Mottram Junction, one of the players is complaining of travel sickness and is let off the coach to join some of his colleagues travelling behind in a car -a sign of things to come?

After a largely uneventful journey we arrive at the Lyme Valley Parkway Stadium. This turns out to be a football pitch surrounded by a cycle track – most unusual – and discussions turn to the possibility of Victoria Pendleton in skin tight Lycra being the half-time entertainment. Most unlikely of course but, who knows?

£5 entrance through a very narrow turnstile and £1 for an excellent programme – bit of a contender for programme of the year this one. We retire to the small but perfectly formed clubhouse and two things meet the eye. Firstly, there are two TV screens but, fortunately, they are both showing the same programme which happens to be Man. Utd. vs Chelsea in the Premiership – ahh well, never mind. The second thing is the presence on the bar of a hand pull with a Draught Bass pump clip. Now, those experienced real ale drinkers are only too well aware that the presence of a hand pull does not always mean that the advertised brew is available for purchase. However, in this case, our fears are groundless and excellent pints of Draught Bass begin to flow. One of our members suggests that we could do some self-inflicted damage here, a comment overheard by the Newcastle Townofficials who are strategically collected at one end of the bar. Comment was made about our trip to Newhall where our hosts had kindly arranged for a barrel of Marston’s Pedigree just to satisfy the needs of the GNE travelling army. In response to the proud boast that we had consumed the Pedigree before full time, one of the Newcastle Town officials commented that there were three more barrels in store at the back of the bar – we did not accept the challenge!!!

Strangely, conversation changed to football with the Newcastle officials suggesting that they were not yet “home and dry” in the league and beseeching us to beat New Mills on Easter Monday. Well, this betrays a real lack of confidence but perhaps comes from previous seasons when Newcastle had started the campaign strongly only for the “wheels to come off later” in the season. And, anyway, we look to beat New Mills for our benefit rather than, as implied, some sort of favour toNewcastle Town.

The giving of the Supporters Club pennant caused more of a stir than we had seen before. This time, your ageing scribe was the one giving the pennant and I was immediately surrounded by no less than four Newcastle Town officials all, seemingly, anxious to get in on the photograph. No problem with this and the giving of pennants to clubs we visit has proved to be inspired and certainly helps to foster good relationships. The Draught Bass was going down well and positive comments were received about our level of support – a compliment indeed to the GNE travelling army who numbered around 60 today from a crowd given as 178 on the Vodkat League website.

The teams take to the field and the referee is spotted to be the same as the one we had at Barwell back in November. He is roundly abused by one of our number even before the match had kicked off – perhaps not the best of tactics. It turns out that the erudite Haggis had known the identity of the referee for some time before this match but had chosen to keep quiet about it – very wise.

After 45 minutes, its half time at the teams are level at 1-1. Many of our number retire to the clubhouse to sample yet more of the delicious Draught Bass whilst one or two wait, inevitably in vain, for the appearance of Victoria Pendleton. Never mind chaps – we can all live in Hope (yes, I know that there is a joke buried in here somewhere but I will leave this one to you).

At the end of the match, the final score is 1-1 and GNE become only the second team this season to come here and take away a point – excellent. As yet more pints of the delicious Draught bass are consumed, news comes in that Whitley Bay have beaten Barwell in the second leg of the FA Vase semi-final and progress to Wembley for the second year running – good news.

We depart with the best wishes of the Newcastle Town officials ringing in our ears. It seems that they still have this fond belief that the only reason we might go out and beat New Mills on Monday is for their benefit – lack of understanding of local rivalries here we suspect.

The journey home is punctuated by two visits to local hospitals – yes, hospitals and not hostelries!! This is nothing to do with excess consumption of the delicious Draught Bass but to do with collecting Kelvin who had been taken off with a nasty looking foot injury during the match and taken to hospital for stitches. Having found the correct hospital – there is more than one in the area – we are off north again and arrive back at Surrey Street rather later than anticipated. No problem with that, a great day was had by all – including the football….

March Player of the Month - Andy Hurst

Congratulations to Andy Hurst on becoming the Supporters Club Player of the Month for March.

Andy will be presented with his award at Mondays game with New Mills.