Newcastle Town 1 GNE 1

Today we visit Newcastle Town who have dropped only 5 points in the league all season – a sign of things to come?

The day gets off to an inauspicious start as rumours reach the assembled group, including the “proud to be” Chairman of the Supporters Club sporting yet another curious piece of headgear – de rigueur in Ireland apparently - that the coach hired for the occasion is stuck under the railway bridge on Arundel Street – a sign of things to come?

Barrygate sets off intrepidly to investigate and returns after a nervous 5 minutes to report that the coach is nowhere to be seen and that it has been variously reported as heading off either back to the High Street or somewhere in the direction of North Road – a sign of things to come?

A quick headcount suggests that we are one short of the expected compliment. Who is missing? Turns out to be the boy and the conclusion is rapidly reached that he is still in bed or does not have permission to come – probably the former to be honest as your ageing scribe tries to think back far enough to when sleeping until after midday was the norm – and fails.

The coach finally arrives at the ground from the direction of Tesco. The joys of satellite navigation perhaps even though the coach company were clearly told to head for Glossop Brook Road. The coach fills up with players, management, directors, spectators and kit and heads off towards Newcastle. Quick thoughts that the aforementioned satellite navigation system has been programmed for Newcastle-upon-Tyne were quickly dispelled and off we went. Before we had reached the lights at Mottram Junction, one of the players is complaining of travel sickness and is let off the coach to join some of his colleagues travelling behind in a car -a sign of things to come?

After a largely uneventful journey we arrive at the Lyme Valley Parkway Stadium. This turns out to be a football pitch surrounded by a cycle track – most unusual – and discussions turn to the possibility of Victoria Pendleton in skin tight Lycra being the half-time entertainment. Most unlikely of course but, who knows?

£5 entrance through a very narrow turnstile and £1 for an excellent programme – bit of a contender for programme of the year this one. We retire to the small but perfectly formed clubhouse and two things meet the eye. Firstly, there are two TV screens but, fortunately, they are both showing the same programme which happens to be Man. Utd. vs Chelsea in the Premiership – ahh well, never mind. The second thing is the presence on the bar of a hand pull with a Draught Bass pump clip. Now, those experienced real ale drinkers are only too well aware that the presence of a hand pull does not always mean that the advertised brew is available for purchase. However, in this case, our fears are groundless and excellent pints of Draught Bass begin to flow. One of our members suggests that we could do some self-inflicted damage here, a comment overheard by the Newcastle Townofficials who are strategically collected at one end of the bar. Comment was made about our trip to Newhall where our hosts had kindly arranged for a barrel of Marston’s Pedigree just to satisfy the needs of the GNE travelling army. In response to the proud boast that we had consumed the Pedigree before full time, one of the Newcastle Town officials commented that there were three more barrels in store at the back of the bar – we did not accept the challenge!!!

Strangely, conversation changed to football with the Newcastle officials suggesting that they were not yet “home and dry” in the league and beseeching us to beat New Mills on Easter Monday. Well, this betrays a real lack of confidence but perhaps comes from previous seasons when Newcastle had started the campaign strongly only for the “wheels to come off later” in the season. And, anyway, we look to beat New Mills for our benefit rather than, as implied, some sort of favour toNewcastle Town.

The giving of the Supporters Club pennant caused more of a stir than we had seen before. This time, your ageing scribe was the one giving the pennant and I was immediately surrounded by no less than four Newcastle Town officials all, seemingly, anxious to get in on the photograph. No problem with this and the giving of pennants to clubs we visit has proved to be inspired and certainly helps to foster good relationships. The Draught Bass was going down well and positive comments were received about our level of support – a compliment indeed to the GNE travelling army who numbered around 60 today from a crowd given as 178 on the Vodkat League website.

The teams take to the field and the referee is spotted to be the same as the one we had at Barwell back in November. He is roundly abused by one of our number even before the match had kicked off – perhaps not the best of tactics. It turns out that the erudite Haggis had known the identity of the referee for some time before this match but had chosen to keep quiet about it – very wise.

After 45 minutes, its half time at the teams are level at 1-1. Many of our number retire to the clubhouse to sample yet more of the delicious Draught Bass whilst one or two wait, inevitably in vain, for the appearance of Victoria Pendleton. Never mind chaps – we can all live in Hope (yes, I know that there is a joke buried in here somewhere but I will leave this one to you).

At the end of the match, the final score is 1-1 and GNE become only the second team this season to come here and take away a point – excellent. As yet more pints of the delicious Draught bass are consumed, news comes in that Whitley Bay have beaten Barwell in the second leg of the FA Vase semi-final and progress to Wembley for the second year running – good news.

We depart with the best wishes of the Newcastle Town officials ringing in our ears. It seems that they still have this fond belief that the only reason we might go out and beat New Mills on Monday is for their benefit – lack of understanding of local rivalries here we suspect.

The journey home is punctuated by two visits to local hospitals – yes, hospitals and not hostelries!! This is nothing to do with excess consumption of the delicious Draught Bass but to do with collecting Kelvin who had been taken off with a nasty looking foot injury during the match and taken to hospital for stitches. Having found the correct hospital – there is more than one in the area – we are off north again and arrive back at Surrey Street rather later than anticipated. No problem with that, a great day was had by all – including the football….